Jul 14

Today we again speak with our trusty dundee, Claire Scott about some of her favorite things.

Broc: So, Claire, I’d love to hear about some of your favorite things in the world.

Claire: And I’d simply love to tell you about them sir!

Broc: Well, according to your facebook profile, one of your activities is “dimples”, please explain.

Claire: Hahahahaahaha (she actually laughed for about 17 minutes after this, but that was hard to transcribe). That actually refers back to my childhood. You see, growing up on a kangaroo farm in the suburbs of Geelong I had to make up some of my own games to play in order to keep from going crazy and hopping into a kangaroo mum’s pouch. So, what I would do is take my index fingers and push in my cheeks where I believed dimples should exist, see, I had no dimples at the time, and I would hold my fingers there for hours on end while I sang a tune in my head that went “dimples dimples they are not frimples, dimples dimples dee da dum”. I had a boring childhood.

Broc: right. that’s fucking weird. lets move on, tell us about a band you love.

Claire: Oooooooh, that’s a great one. I’ve been really into this band from Orange County, CA called Dusty Rhodes & The River Band. I think I like them mostly because of the lead singer’s mustache. It’s like, is he from the 70′s or is he from the hipster 2010′s? And how about the fact that there is a fiddle in the band? A fiddle! Hey diddle diddle! And their live performance is so outrageous! Its like The Wiggles, Men At Work and Savage Garden all on stage at once, fighting over the last cookie. You really should check out their video. They are probably the only non Aussie (oy oy oy) band that I like. Well, them and that cute little Bieber kid. he’s adorable.

Dusty Rhodes and the River Band – “All One” from Michael Tavarez on Vimeo.

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Jul 13

So I went to see Train perform the other night (give me a break, it was only $7) and I was thinking to myself…with the huge success and bringing back of their career by the song “Hey, Soul Sister” and with the absolutely mind blowing success of Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours”, how are there not more ukelele songs?

It seems pretty clear to me that a well written balad played on a ukelele is an instant hit. You can even add John Mayer’s “Say” to this list even though its played on the guitar. It’s capo’d so high it and played only on the high strings that it may as well be a uke song.

Come on songwriters and bands, write some bad ass uke songs.

And hire this kid to be on them. Because he does with a uke what i never thought was possible….rock.

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Jul 01

but what we’re really waiting for is a submarine car. come on people! where is my submarine car!

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Jun 28

this guy is so f’d in the brain. love it.

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Jun 11

but also have a nice weekend.

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May 27

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May 27

see America? see what happens when you start voting for CRAP as your so called “american idol”? England, yes, ENGLAND, the country that we fought hard to escape from because they were a bunch of shmucks, now owns the best American bluegrass band of the year. Seriously???? I mean COME ON! We are a young country. Most of our culture is either stolen from our immigrant family’s homeland or manufactured by Disney and now, one of the few things we own we are letting someone else beat us at? What’s next? Will China create the best bbq in the world?

Hands down to Mumford & Sons. You’ve stolen our culture and one upped us. Congrats.

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May 27

Claire Scott heard the shocking news all the way down under and this photo was her only response.

Lee DeWyze won American Idol? LEE dEwYZE???? The guy’s name has a W a Y and a Z in it!!! At no point in the 18 weeks or whatever of American Idol did Lee DeWyze EVER show a glimmer of greatness. He is a singer with limited range and average tonality. He constantly looks like he wants to cry from stage fright and his only back story is “small town paint salesman”. What the f*ck kind of back story is that??? Last year, Danny Gokey, who looks kinda similar to DeWyze but sings about 787 times better than him and is all over country radio with his first single right now had the back story of “my wife of a just a year passed away of a bizarre illness mere months before the audition, oh and i teach kids at church how to sing better.” Now THAT’s a backstory. And he still didn’t even win!!!!

So….Claire, what do you have to say on the topic?

Claire Scott:
Let’s be honest. Nobody on American Idol had a speck of talent this year. I gave up when Andrew Garcia couldn’t do a damned thing since his Paula Abdul cover. Garcia was my only hope and in typical American fashion, he was a one hit wonder. Crystal, while not my style, kicked some ass. Especially after her final performance on Tuesday’s show, it seemed like a bigger knockout than the time Victoria beat South Australia back in the 1995 Aussie Rules Football interstate match. Lee isn’t even attractive. He looks like Russell Crowe’s left thumb… and believe me, that is not the attractive thumb.

It’s reasons like this that I decided to move back to Australia. I’m not sure how American’s cope with the fact that when they are given a democratic vote, they somehow always end up picking a loser. I vow not to return to America until all you Yankees stop rooting for losers. Because at this rate, the Blue Jays are gonna win the MLB, the Raptors are gonna win the NBA and the CFL will take over on Sunday afternoons. Stop sucking America. Stop.

Brocofly:
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks Claire, and please start looking into some apartments in Sydney for me, I don’t think I can handle this country much longer.

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May 13

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May 07

its the weekend.  get excited.

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